i wish i could make something beautiful , 
something absolutely flawless ,
that brings people to tears 
is that too much ? 
i doubt i’m able to do anything like that though , 
i lack the confidence or perfection needed . 
or maybe i lack the imperfection ? 
i struggle as these words hit this paper , 
they don’t flow the way they used to .
writer’s block , or something more ? 
a blockage of soul , of life ? 
i don’t know what i’m missing ,
or maybe i do , it’s hard to tell . 
my brain doesn’t work the way it used to , 
it’s all filled with the things that no longer define me . 
but yet they’ve stayed implanted , 
and i have no idea how to remove them . 
my adventure has yet to begin , 
or maybe it’s reaching a turning point ? 
i struggle to find what i’m looking for , 
what i want to do , or have , or learn . 
does this even make sense , 
do i even make sense , 
does anything even make sense ? 
i wish i knew the answer , 
i wish i knew how to make things right , 
i wish i knew how to end . 
i’m afraid to stop my fingers writing 
because what if the magic stops there ? 
the amazing flow of words that i have come across , 
i’m afraid that that will end . 
abruptly , carefully , horribly . 
does that make sense ? 
tell me the story of your life , 
while i still struggle to find mine . 
can you comprehend what i’m getting at ? 
will anyone even read this , 
look over these words and think , 
damn , why do i feel the same way ? 
or maybe they’ll just call me another 
angst - ridden teenager , 
just another child looking for attention . 
but that’s not the case . 
or maybe it is , i don’t know . 
this is going in all different directions , 
i don’t know how anyone can still be following , 
or maybe no one was following in the first place ? 
maybe no one cares , 
or maybe everyone cares . 
i swear this is just full of contradictions , 
but i think somehow they work . 
did i just define life there ? 
a mass of things that don’t make sense , 
but yet they all fall together 
in some crazy perfect bundle ? 
wow if this has turned into a cliche . 
i think that’s my cue to stop , 
before this just becomes way too corny . 
thanks for struggling with me .

his is like spitfire
if that’s what you would call it
burning brightly and then flickering out
that’s how this is.
i don’t know what goes through my mind
but i just know someone always beats me to it
they say it before i can
they do it while i falter
it’s very confusing, the way this is
the way we move, we always learn
what to do and how to act
it all reflects onto others
don’t let this flicker out
burn, burn brightly
or you’ll regret it foreverr.

————————-

good?

Hello Xangans, my name is Krissy, and I'm just another teenager trying to find her place in this world. Haha before I get to actually blogging I wanna make one about me. I always  feel so stifled when writing my about me on myspace cus I don't wanna make it obnoxiously long, but here I think I can just keep writing til I'm fulfilled and no one will care. Haha so here we go [:

I'm a sophomore at EPCHS and it pretty much sucks. I play soccer and I love it. I enjoy making new friends so don't be shy [: I rely far too much on music, the internet, and people. Driving makes me nervous as hell but I love it; I can get my license in March [: I absolutely love tattoos & piercings. My mom won't let me get pierced so can't wait for 18! [: Boys confuse me. I have yet to have a boyfriend, or even be kissed, and I'm finally becoming okay with that. I don't want my high  school years to revolve over boyfriends and drama. These are "the best years of my life" and I don't want to waste them. Seventh grade was the worst year of my life, and I have yet to find the best. High school is flying by and it scares me. I have a slight obsession with Mitchel Davis ♥ Cristofer Drew has an orgasmic voice, and Leonardo DiCaprio is sexy. I have a girl crush on Megan Fox, cus she's sexy. [: I adore makeup and fashion. I think I'm semi good at both, haha. I hope to be an interior designer, a photorapher, a cosmetologist, a hairdresser, or a fashion designer when I'm older. I want to go to the Paul Mitchell school of beauty. The arts fascinate me. I absolutely detest math and science, and I'm horrible at them, haha. I'm just not one to use all this logic and explanations to get reasons. Plus I don't see the point of learning all this nonsense when I'm most likely not gonna use it again later haha. I write poetry and short stories, but I haven't written anything recently. I used to want to be an author, but I am never inspired anymore, everything seems so insipid nowadays. Maybe it's just me. People tend to forget about me, and I'm forever losing friends, but I usually get them back [: I don't know what it is that people forget, but I'm usually never remembered. I try to make myself known and stand out and it works, sometimes. I dunno how else to get myself out there without doing something stupid. And being know isn't worth my dignity. I try to be optimistic, but it doesn't always work since I am a pessimist, haha. I don't have a set reason haha but it's just easier to be negative, less disappointment. I don't know what I'm doing with my life and that scares me. I make tooo many mistakes, but that's just part of who I am. I am way more outspoken than I used to be, but I'm still holding things back :/ I'm not really comfortable talking to my parents, I don't know why, but it's just awkward. I guess that's all I can get for now. Until later, fellow bloggers [: